


Gone Baby Blues

by wordscavenger



Series: Forget Not The Legacy [9]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Established Poe Dameron/Finn, Fluff, Hurt!Finn, M/M, Millennium Falcon - Freeform, Original Character(s), Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pre-Slash, Runaway Finn, Stormpilot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-19
Updated: 2016-07-19
Packaged: 2018-07-25 08:01:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7524781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wordscavenger/pseuds/wordscavenger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When news of Rey and Skywalker’s return to D’Qar reach Finn and Poe, the two reminiscence on when their paths first crossed with the legendary Jedi. Several months before, upon Luke’s distrust of Finn and his past affiliation with the Order, he demanded an ultimatum: either Finn leaves the base for the safety of the Resistance, or he will. Finn, knowing the mission to find Skywalker nearly cost Poe and Rey their lives, refuses to allow what they suffered and sacrificed end up in vain. So, Finn fell back into doing what he knew.</p><p>He ran. And didn’t expect anyone to follow him.</p><p>He was wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gone Baby Blues

**Author's Note:**

> The section of this story that takes place during the past can be read as happening before my story _Dance of the Desert Sun_ and after the first chapter of _Pocketful of Gordian Knots_. I hope you enjoy!

Poe walked through the door to his unit…and immediately knew something was wrong.

Habitually his concerned eyes zeroed in on Finn, who was contently sitting on their couch, squished between Iolo and Snap. He looked relaxed, with his blue med-suit unbuttoned under his neck and the sleeves rolled up at the elbows. Happily he munched on a plate of meat and vegetables, blissfully unaware that something was off. Very off.

When the door slid shut his lover looked up as he walked into the room and excitedly said, “Hey!” He then smiled at BB-8 who rolled past Poe as it entered the room. With a cheerful beep in greeting at him and the others, it zoomed towards its charging station, gratefully powering down for the night.

Finn gestured his head from Iolo and Snap, each holding untouched trays of food, then towards Jess and Kare at their table, both of whom were regarding Poe with concern. “Um. So. Everyone wanted to eat dinner in our unit tonight.” His voice held a tinge of uncertainty, as eating together in one of their units was often reserved for special occasions or get-floor-drunk parties. Poe could tell Finn was just rolling with it though, as he normally did when something he didn’t understand was happening but didn’t want to admit it and feel awkward.

“I know babe,” Poe said as he stepped towards his lover and bent down to brush a soft kiss to his crown before he turned back to pull out a chair from the table, spinning it around and sitting on it backwards as he faced the room. “I got the message when I stopped by mess.” He paused, waiting for someone to speak. Instead everyone looked everywhere but at him.

Everyone except Finn, who shifted uncomfortably in the silence, looking around at their friends with confusion. Maybe he wasn’t so blissfully unaware as Poe assumed. Unable to watch his lover suffer any more, Poe held out his hands and asked, “So is anyone going to tell me what’s up or am I going to have to play twenty-one questions?” He paused for a moment to give them a smirk. “And you guys know I like to start with the dirty ones.”

“Okay fine,” Kare groaned. “Force knows I’m not going to listen to you ask about who’s doing who tauntaun style.” She sat up and placed her palms down on the table before taking a deep breath, “Poe-”

“Yes dear?” He asked and held his smile as she rolled her eyes at him. She hated when he called her that and he knew it.

“You know that we all love you and have no problem following you on any kind of adventure or mission you ask us to. Not matter your intentions, we don’t care if they’re blaster-filled, ludicrous, half-cocked-“

“Excuse me but my intentions are always fully-cocked, thank you very much,” Poe cut in again. He turned to Finn and gave him a salacious wink. In reply his lover rolled his eyes at him but couldn’t stop a blush from caressing his cheeks.

“Half-cocked, fully-cocked, quarter-cocked- _whatever_ ,” Kare gritted out. “What we’re here to talk to you about is that Snap heard something today about a certain someone whose imminent arrival to this base will,” she paused to ferret out the word she thought would be more appropriate than what she actually wanted to say, “ _upset_ you. And instead of you coming up with some crazy plan of revenge that you want us to follow, we want to all be adults here and make sure you know that you have the support you need from us before you-um-well-”

“Go crazy and toss this individual out of an airlock in deep space,” Iolo finished, placing his barely touched food down onto the floor. “And I don’t know about these guys but I’m not visiting you in Oovo IV’s Correctional Facility if you do. There isn’t a decent planet in that entire system and you always have to travel through like three asteroid fields to get there.” He sat back with a huff. “Pain in the ass.”

“Preach,” Snap said and turned to give Iolo a fist bump which he reciprocated. Finn frowned at the exchange but remained silent.

“Guys,” Poe held up his hands placatingly. “Other than Kylo Ren randomly arriving on base, who the hell has clearance to come here that I hate enough to make you think I would want to take them out?” He shrugged before he closed his eyes and ran a tired hand across his forehead. “Except you guys right now for keeping me from my dinner.”

Finn cleared his throat. He was unaware as to who this person was and their friends anticipations on Poe’s reaction to this person’s arrival. But he trusted his lover to not actually fulfill their expectations. Or so he hoped.

However, Finn couldn’t help a small smirk from inching up the side of his mouth at their friends awkward attempts to try and handle helping their leader. Though he could most definitely relate, the pilots were downright awful at dealing with any serious scenario that didn’t involve the war. Romances, sickness, personal passions; anything emotional was often dealt with a sarcastic or jovial response. It was how they functioned and most of the time it worked just fine.

This time, however, they had other concerns.  

To at least alleviate this smaller issue, Finn gestured his head towards their small kitchenette, “I brought you a plate. It’s in the kitchen.”

Poe’s eyes flew open and he gave Finn his own small grin. “Force, I love you.”

“And that brings us back to our current situation,” Jess said, tapping the table nervously to get Poe’s attention back. “The reason why we’re so nervous about our impending visitor is because of Finn. And you. Being, you know, together. Now. Cause this guy’s last visit didn’t start out so great when you guys weren’t even together and now that you are we don’t want what happened last time-”

Finn and Poe exchanged a confused look before Poe held up a hand to silence his pilot, “Jess, what the hell-”

“Oh my Force. Fine! It’s Skywalker,” Iolo exclaimed, his frustration at everyone’s delicacy reaching its peak. “Luke Skywalker is coming back to base and after what happened the last time he was here-”

But this time it was Finn who interrupted. He quickly turned to Iolo, excitingly exclaiming,

“Skywalker’s coming back?” He then swiftly turned to Snap and grabbed his arm. “Does that mean Rey is coming back too? She said in the last com that she had a surprise and wouldn’t tell me what it was. Is that it?”

Snap bit his lip. “Um…surprise?”

“I’ve got to com her! I’ve got to-” Finn stopped short from launching himself off the couch to regard Poe whose expression had become a blank, stony face. “Oh. Um. Right.” He looked away to rub a hand across the back of his neck.

Everyone besides Finn was now regarding Poe warily as the news hung in the air. But the silence didn’t last long.

Loudly, Snap whispered, “Did-did we break him?” He reached out to poke Poe with his fork but Finn knocked his hand away with his own free hand.

With a deep sigh Finn stood and looked around at the others in the room. “Um. Thanks for the heads up about Skywalker. Really. But do you guys mind taking off? Poe and I should, uh, talk. And…stuff.”

“Are you sure-?” Snap began but the others were already starting to file out of the room as Finn nodded. Poe remained silent, not even regarding his friends as he seemed lost in thought.

When the unit door slid shut Finn walked over to Poe and knelt down in front of his lover. With slow, tentative movements, Finn slid his hand along Poe’s arm. “Poe-” he began but whatever he was about to say was cut off when Poe surged forward to forcefully press his lips against Finn’s.

“Poe-” Finn tried when he pulled back in surprise, but Poe slid his hand along the back of Finn’s head and pulled him in close again, his desperate need more evident with this kiss. Not knowing what else to do, Finn just went along.

Abruptly Poe stood, bringing Finn with him. Using his leg Poe kicked aside the chair, ignoring how it crashed against the table before it fell to the floor. Now with nothing separating them, Poe desperately pulled Finn in closer, their bodies flush against each other as their kisses deepened.

Though Finn knew he should be concerned about Poe’s silence, should try to get him to talk about what was running through his head, he couldn’t deny that this sudden turn of events had immensely turned him on. Gently, Poe pushed Finn backwards until he was up against the table, then slowly he pulled away from Finn’s bruised lips to start a trail of wet kisses and sharp nips down his throat.

A solid groan tumbled out of Finn as he felt Poe’s hardened member brush against his, and his mind impatiently went to all of the things they could do now that they were alone. But, he knew they shouldn’t, couldn’t, avoid the news that had just been unexpectedly dropped on them.

“Poe,” Finn gasped out as Poe settled on his collarbone. “We-we should talk-”

“You said stuff,” Poe said, lifting up his head to place a gentle hand along the side of Finn’s face. “You said talk and stuff.” He swallowed thickly, and his eyes spoke the words he wasn’t ready to say as he ran a thumb lovingly along Finn’s cheekbone. “I want to do stuff first. I just-I need to feel you.” His voice lowered. “Please.”

Finn didn’t bother to hesitate. Not when Poe’s desperate and beautiful eyes were glossy with need and desire. He didn’t exactly mean this when he said stuff, but Poe apparently needed this more right now. They could talk later. It was unavoidable. But, neither of them were going anywhere anytime soon. And truthfully he would wait weeks if Poe asked him too.

He slid his hands up to Poe’s face and pulled him in for a steady, delicious kiss. When he pulled back he whispered, “Whatever you need.”

“You,” Poe quickly answered, his hands eagerly reaching for Finn’s pants to start tugging him towards their bedroom. “Just need you.”

Finn smiled as he allowed Poe to take him where he wanted. He gently ran a hand through the mop of dark curls he loved beyond reason. “You’ve got me love. I’m here.”

* * *

  _D’Qar: Seven Months Ago_

 “It’s too bad you won’t be here when Rey comes back.”

Poe looked up at Finn from where he was loading his X-Wing in D’Qar’s large and bustling hanger. He was preparing for a recon mission that mission control needed him and his crew out on ASAP. Finn knew the details were classified, and through he understood the secrecy, it still didn’t soften his worry. Poe regarded his friend sitting on a crate, his arms in a tense fold and a frown fixed firmly where a smile should have been.

“I know bud,” Poe answered. “Wish I could be here too. Only got to spend like ten minutes with her before she took off after Skywalker. But her and Skywalker are going to be here for a bit right? After they arrive? I’ll see her when I get back. Don’t worry. It’ll be nice to get to know more of this desert goddess you keep going on about.” He shut the door to the cargo hold of his plane before turning to Finn. “But I promise I will be back in two days. Three tops.”

Finn finally smirked. “Which is Poe speak for a week.” He lifted up a hand when Poe tried to protest. “Which is fine. Really.” He shrugged. “Just going to miss you.”

Poe cleared his throat and looked away, not used to hearing anyone talk to him like that. Not anymore. “You’re just going to miss giving me a hard time about keeping our unit clean.” He had to joke. He just couldn’t do serious when he was about to be away from Finn for a week-two days. Three tops, he swore to himself.   

Finn rolled his eyes. “Please. You’re twice as intense about the upkeep because you think I’m going to slip on a sock or something and hurt my back even more.” He couldn’t help but smile at the memory of Snap visiting the other day and giving a surprised whistle at their spotless unit before commenting that domestic life did Poe good. Poe’s answer was to make a hand gesture Finn didn’t really understand which then led to some weird wrestling match Finn didn’t understand either, but was hilarious to watch because Poe in a headlock refusing to say uncle was amazing.

“Speaking of your back you promise to keep up with your physical therapy?” Poe said taking a step towards Finn, his voice full of worry. They’d only been living with each other for a short time since Finn’s release from the med-unit. His back was still on the mend and though he could walk decently enough, he tired easily and was still in pain a good portion of the day.

“And don’t skimp out on pain meds if you need them. It’s not a weakness-”

“I know Poe. You went over everything last night.” He held up two fingers. “Twice.”

“And you better have listened. I’ve got a direct line to Kalonia and I swear I will ditch this mission early if she tells me you’ve been soldiering up and avoiding med-rest like she prescribed,” Poe said emphatically. Even now Poe could tell being here was wearing Finn out. He’d been out of the med-unit for less than a week and through his strength was slowly returning, he still had a long road ahead before his back was fully healed. Poe wanted to say their goodbyes back in their unit but Finn absolutely refused and followed Poe to the hanger to see him off. It made Poe’s heart battle with affection for the man and guilt that he knew Finn was in discomfort and would be dealing with it alone for a few days.  

“And let the good General down?” Finn said after a moment of surprise at Poe’s words. He knew Poe cared for him, and it warmed him in a way he couldn’t vocalize, but was grateful for all the same. “Force forbid.” He tried to play off his blush with a roll of his eyes and a light tone but couldn’t help but appreciate Poe’s concern for him.

Poe scoffed and pretend to cuff Finn over the head, but instead drew the man in for a deep hug. Finn didn’t waste a moment before he draped his arms around Poe, pulling him in close. It would have been an awkward angle, Poe standing and Finn sitting, but Finn didn’t mind having his cheek pressed against Poe’s soft stomach, his fingers clutching the straps around Poe’s waist.

“Come back. Please,” Finn whispered.

Poe tightened his grip. “Always.”

Ten minutes later Finn was alone in the hanger, watching a formation of airborne Resistance pilots heading towards the atmosphere. Then one by one they disappeared into hyperspace leaving nothing behind but him.

* * *

 The next day Finn found himself in the same spot in the hanger watching an all too familiar ship approach and gear for landing.

Finn could still hardly believe this unusually shaped collection of rusted steel and loose bolts was the same plane belonging to the infamous General Solo. The same General who he learned about in his class, _Nemeses of the Empire_ , throughout his advancement years who helped destroy some of the Empire’s grandest plans. Even after working with the General himself, watching him fly, fight, even die, the larger than life figure he’d been raised to disdain didn’t hold a candle to the man he’d known for only a short time.

The Falcon landed gracefully onto the permacrete where Finn waited with General Organa and a crowd of officers, soldiers, and non-com’s of the Resistance. Though his heart was hammering at finally being reunited with his friend, he also felt uncomfortable being around so many Resistance members. He knew his welcome here was met with more than mixed emotions, but he wasn’t about to miss out on seeing Rey after being apart for so long.

“Are you excited Finn?” General Organa asked, causing Finn to look at her in surprise at her question and her sudden appearance by his side. Her voice was gentle, curious, and mixed with her own apparent excitement. He wondered just how long it had actually been since she’d seen, even spoken to Skywalker.

“Yes, General,” he answered and didn’t know what else to say.  He’d been trained since birth to be respectful of any superior officer, and the most interaction he’d ever had with one was Captain Phasma. Poe had practically written sonnets about how capable a leader Organa was, which he believed after seeing her handle the Starkiller battle. But, she was still a superior. And now, without the pressure of impending disaster, he interacted with her the way he’d always been trained to. Short and direct answers only when being spoken too. Nothing else.

“I guess if you think about it, this arrival is more significant to you and I than the rest of the others here.” As she spoke, her voice was low and conspiratorial, but still with a lightness that promised something more that made him start to see why so many followed her. “They’re waiting for a symbol. A turn in the war. A sign that things might soon become that better future we’ve hopped for, for so long.” She paused to sigh deeply. “Yet you and I, we’re just waiting for family to return.”

Those words-she deserved more. More than just a salute, a nod, a systematic answer he had drilled into his mind as a result of hours of lessons and training. He cleared his throat, and then took a leap. “Do-do you think they’ll be happy to see us?” he whispered back.

She turned to him with a bright smile, and he could see she was grateful that he chose to confide in her something so precious to his heart. He truly was worried that Rey wouldn’t be happy to be back on the base. That her Jedi training was so exciting and new she’d only be disappointed to end up trapped with a damaged ex-stormtrooper on D’Qar. But Organa reached out and touched his shoulder to gently answer, “You? Of course! Rey already sent us a transmission twenty minutes ago to make sure you were part of the landing party.”

Years of training were all that kept him from reaching his arms around her in gratitude. “But Skywalker?” he asked, as she had left herself out of that answer.

Leia sighed, the weariness of her role in this decades old battle creeping into her wise blue eyes. “I’m afraid our reunion will be bittersweet. Too many ghosts have haunted our family for too many years.” She let go of his shoulder and turned towards the Falcon as the off ramp opened and lowered to the ground.

He nodded and remained silent, knowing there was nothing he could say.

When the ramp finally touched the peramecete a hush fell over the crowed. Silence, a rarity inside the large and often busy hanger lingered as everyone waited for the return of the possible answer to the end of their never-ending war.

Suddenly, a figure emerged. A man, tall and imposing encased in an oak colored cloak with the hood hiding his face ominously. Its length caressed the ramp as he walked down it, his steps deliberate, slow, and serene. His stride imposed the feeling that the weight of the galaxy rested on him alone.

Luke Skywalker. Slayer of Siths. Pilot of destruction. Former exiled Jedi knight.

That and more describe this stoic man. The kind of man who was actually the exact opposite of the flash of white and blue that dashed past the original figure, nearly knocking him off the ramp with a shout and stumble on his robe.

Rey, Skywalker’s new and energetic apprentice, skidded to a full stop when she reached the edge of the ramp and looked around wildly before she yelled out, “Finn?”

Finn had to laugh. Typical, perfect, amazing Rey. She was here. _Finally_.

“Rey!” he called out and her head turned to zero in on his voice, years of scavenging having made her senses razor sharp.

“Finn!” she yelled again just as she took off towards the group Finn was standing in, completely ignoring Luke taking off his hood and yelling at her a curt, “Padawan!”

She dashed through the group and when she got close to Finn she unexpectedly launched herself at him full-speed.

“Rey wait!” he nearly got out as his arms were suddenly filled with a handful of lean limbs and soft fabric; the force of her hug toppling the two of them over and onto the hard cement.

“Finn!” Organa exclaimed worriedly from above, but despite the searing pain in his back he couldn’t care. Rey was back. She was okay. And she was happy to see him.

Despite all that, he couldn’t help but think that the only thing that would make this moment perfect was if Poe was there.

“Oh no!” Rey yelled as she pushed herself to sit up on his stomach, her weight pushing down even further onto his back. “I’m so sorry! That was so stupid of me! Are you okay?”

Finn groaned before he looked up at her and breathed out a laugh. “Welcome back Rey. I missed you.”

Her face broke out into a wide smile, blue eyes shining with more happiness than he’d ever seen in them before. “I missed you too.”

* * *

 “Oh and you’ve got to show me around outside the base. I’ve heard there’s a waterfall Finn. A real waterfall! There weren’t any on the island and I’ve been dying to see one again!” Rey spoke excitedly as they strolled down the hallway of the base heading towards Finn’s living unit. He laughed at her excited demeanor. It was infectious and he was glad that she seemed so happy to be back.

“We will. When Poe gets back in a few days. I’m not exactly in the best shape to be taking you on sights alone.” He hesitated a moment before he continued. “And I’m not technically allowed to leave the base without an escort.” He spoke the last part quietly, wary of the Resistance personnel walking by. When she regarded him with a mix of confusion he waved it away. “It’s fine. They don’t have anything to worry about but it makes sense.”

“No it does not,” Rey said. “You saved their lives.”

“Poe doesn’t exactly know that I know this but a few days ago C-3PO let it slip that it was the only way to convince some of the other officers to let me stay after I woke up. I need an escort until it’s been proven that I’m totally part of their cause.” He knew that Poe was his friend and cared for him, but a big part of him believed he’d been given Finn’s care as a way to keep an eye on him for the Resistance. Finn tried to tell himself it didn’t bother him, but a part of him worried that it was the only reason Poe let him hang around.

“Finn-” Rey began but Finn cut her off. “None of which matters anyway. Tell me about training. I want to talk about that. Like, why does Luke keep calling you padawan?”

Rey sighed and grasped Finn’s hands, letting this go. For now. “It’s the technical term for a Jedi apprentice. And the training-it’s hard. But amazing. I’m learning so much and it feels like I’m finally living my life for the first time.” She squeezed his hands. “And I never would have gotten to experience any of it if it weren’t for you.”

He shook his head. “You would have found your place eventually Rey-” but she cut him off.

“No. I was chained to Jakku and the only person keeping me there was myself. I’ve had other opportunities to leave but I rejected them all. I never would have left if you hadn’t barreled into my life with the Order at your back.”

“To be fair, you barreled into me pretty effectively first. With a big stick.” Finn laughed. “And also my involvement wasn’t for entirely selfless reasons. Fleeing the First Order was a bit of a priority for me at the time.” He smirked at her, remembering how they first met.

“True,” she said with a slight tilt of her head, but then she became serious. “But you came back for me Finn. You came back when it mattered the most. I’ll always be grateful.”

Grateful. That word haunted Finn. He knew, deep down, that Poe and Rey did care about him. But at night, sometimes, the voices of his fallen comrades and Captain Phasma mixed together to create a haunting taunt that the only reason they were still with him was because they owed him their lives. It wasn’t what he wanted.  

Instead of voicing his fears, he did what he’d been trained to do. Push down his emotions and carry on. He just nodded and cleared his throat, not sure what to say. Rey sense his unease and was about to ask him what was wrong when he said, “I should get to my physical therapy. I promised Poe I would keep up with it.”

She smiled when he mentioned his friend again. “Poe. The pilot. Right. I can’t wait to get to know him more.” Her voice held a tone he wasn’t familiar with, but she let go of his hands and continued. “I definitely want to hear more about him during dinner tonight. But, I should find Skywalker. I’ve gone a whole hour without training and he’s probably trying to use the Force to guilt me into doing some.” She winked at him which he smiled back at before she walked away.

Finn sighed and turned to open his living unit door, the emptiness a stark reminder of Poe’s absence. He walked into their sleeping quarters and sat on Poe’s bed, wondering what the man was doing at that moment. 

* * *

  _System: Classified / Planet: Unknown / Target Base: Located_

 “So he says to me ‘come back. Please’. In like, the most adorable voice you can imagine of course,” Poe said, as he walked up to a large door belonging to an even larger oblong structure made of clay and mud that was settled in the middle of a desert wasteland. Unfortunately, it was seriously reminding him of Jakku in the worst of ways.

The two moons illuminated the structure in the dark, as well as Kare, who was kneeling by the door with a device in her hands. “Uh huh,” she answered, though Poe wondered if she was actually listening.

“And I say ‘always’ like a kriffing idiot because, I mean, I can’t technically promise that. But how can you say no to the guy?” He huffed as he charged his blaster. “Have you seen his face when he talks like that? It’s like the epitome of-”

“Kare,” Iolo’s voice echoed in their earpieces. He was currently guarding the exit to an underground escape route a hundred clicks away from the structure with four other soldiers awaiting his command. They’d already disabled the landspeeders hidden in the rock structures nearby and were just waiting for future stragglers during the OP. “If I take a blaster to the chest, please do not attempt resuscitation. I don’t think I can handle listening to Poe ramble about his man crush any longer and I’m pretty sure that’s the only way out now.”

“Get some Iolo,” Poe said with a roll of his eyes as Kare stood and backed away from the door. “Now, now Iolo don’t get jealous that Poe’s got a new boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” Poe said just as Iolo said, “He’s not Poe’s boyfriend.”

“Either way,” Kare said as she bent down to grab her own blaster. “We’ve got bigger things to focus on now than to worry about whether or not Poe has the hots for Finn.” She turned to Poe and smirked as she held up a detonator in her hand. “Which he totally does.” She pressed the button and a series of small blasts echoed up and around the door, causing it to open with a loud moan as the hinges squeaked before falling to the ground.

“Back door infantry watch for targets,” Poe said as he and Kare started walking inside the building, blasters drawn and crouched in a defense position.

“Welcome speeder infantry, watch your six,” Iolo said back just as blasters started raining down towards Poe and Kare.

“So let’s say I do have the hots for Finn,” Poe then asked casually as he and Kare started shooting back, “What do you think I should do about it?”

* * *

  _D’Qar_

A knocking at the door jerked Finn awake. It took a moment for him to situate himself before he realized where he was.

Poe’s bed. He must have fallen asleep. He hadn’t mean to. He’d meant to start working on his PT but he guessed all the excitement that day must have worn him out more than he realized. He didn’t want to think about how being in Poe’s bed, surrounded by this things and his scent, had calmed him down in a way he didn’t understand.

Instead he stood, very slowly because Rey knocked him down hard. He decided that he wouldn’t mention that to Poe and would double his therapy efforts tomorrow. His back still ached from when Rey toppled over him, but he smiled at the memory anyway.

The door whooshed open to reveal C-3PO, which surprised Finn immensely. Rarely did he ever see the droid away from Leia’s side, and the fact that he was here made him instantly suspicious.

“A thousand apologies Master Finn,” the droid began in his jerky movements to represent human gestures. “The General requests your presence in the conference unit at as soon as it conveniences you.”

Finn folded his arms, tense. “May I ask why?” More often when he met with the General he was given advance notice to rearrange his schedule; they both knew the meeting would be hours long considering the depth of the topics they discussed. First Order intel, battle strategies, preconceived weaknesses. A sudden request like this reminded him of the Order. Obey first, ask questions never.

Surprised at his answer, C-3PO said, “I’m afraid as per my protocols I cannot divulge that information. But I’m sure Master Luke and General Organa would be happy to acquiesce any questions you might have. Good day, Master Finn.” The droid gave a jerky salute before it turned and shuffled down the hallway.

Finn closed the door and started to undress before slowly heading towards the ‘fresher. He knew this request for his presence didn’t bode well. Especially if Skywalker was involved. The Jedi didn’t acknowledge him after his and Rey’s arrival, and was quickly carried off to Organa’s offices to discuss what his return meant. He hadn’t paid attention to it at the time, he was too immersed in Rey being back, but now that he thought about it, he had been around enough senior officers who knew the depths of their powers, and being ignored by the Jedi wasn’t a good sign.

Half an hour later he was outside the General's conference unit, steeling himself to hit the panel to open the door. He felt like he was about to go to reconditioning, his most hated punishment, and tried to remind himself that this wasn’t the Order. This was different. He shouldn’t worry.

Not for the first time did he wish Poe was here with him.

Finally, he punched the panel and walked into the room, stopping in surprise at what he saw.

Skywalker was sitting calmly at the round table, his arms tucked inside the sleeves of his robe. Organa was standing a few feet away from him, leaning on the table with one hand, her mouth open to say something most likely unpleasant by the angry look on her face. Rey sat next to Skywalker, her face pale with surprise and sadness.

All three turned to regard him when he walked into the room.

Before he could say anything Skywalker stood, “You must be Finn.” Finn nodded, not sure how to answer that before Skywalker continued, “Once known as FN-2187.”

Hearing Skywalker say that name, those numbers, froze his entire body in a way he couldn’t break. Rey stood and exclaimed, “Master!” But Skywalker held out a hand encased in metal to silencing her. Finn had to clench his hands shut to keep himself from telling Skywalker to leave Rey alone. He knew how the dynamics between trainer and trainee worked, but seeing anyone try to tell his passionate friend to be quiet struck a deep, dark nerve in him.

“I don’t go by that name anymore,” Finn gritted out.

“But you did. Just because you choose a new name doesn’t mean your old one didn’t exist. Just because you made strides towards a different future, doesn’t mean the lessons of the past are erased.” As Skywalker spoke he walked away from the two women to head towards the man. “I’ve done some research on you, FN-2187.”

When he came beside Finn he gestured for the man to sit at a chair at the table. Finn did so, though he would have preferred to stand.

Now over his initial shock that Skywalker used his old name, he didn’t care that he continued to do so. He knew it wouldn’t matter to tell him not too, and he had been called by it for so long he was used to responding to it. However, if Poe was here, that would have been a different story.

Skywalker sat beside Finn as he continued, “As I’m sure you already know, there wasn’t much to find. A low status trooper such as yourself wouldn’t leave the same kind of a trail as a First Order superior officer. Yet, what I did find on you was of great interest.” He waved his hand towards the center of the conferenced control system and Finn watched with what felt like a punch in the stomach as a digital file opened to reveal his name, his classification, and a detailed analysis of his time with the Order. How Skywalker had come across this information he hadn’t a clue.

“It seems here,” Skywalker said, “that you were quite the solider to admire. A solid career path awaited you FN. Top percent of your class. Perfect scores to go along with your perfect shot.” He paused. “And though it doesn’t seem like she is much for waxing sweet words about her soldiers, Captain Phasma’s notes indicate you were her favorite to aspire to great things.”

Finn couldn’t breathe. This was the Order all over again. Everything laid out and exposed, with no way to fight back.

“Tell me stormtrooper,” Luke said as he lifted up a hand, gently opening his long fingers. “What happened in the mines.”

That Skywalker knew about the mines gutted Finn. “I didn’t fire,” he said quickly in answer as he tried to keep his voice steady. Fruitless, he knew, because even as he finished it had broken with the memories threatening to stretch to the surface for air.

His first trial mission before Jakku. A mining colony that was under First Order control had tried and failed to demand better treatment from its owners. Even now the memory of its dead miners at the hands of his comrades, Nines, Slip, Zeros haunted him. Them obeying Phasma’s direct orders to kill, while Finn stood there dumb and in shock was when the realization of the Order’s true nature became known to him.

Suddenly he realized what was happening. Luke was starting his search. Starting to dig deep into his mind to find out the truth of who he truly was. Finn could talk and act like he was a Resistance sympathizer, but there was no hiding one’s true nature from the force of the Jedi. He’d heard enough stories from Poe and half-truths from other troopers to know what it was like to have the Force being used to pick out the mind’s hidden secrets and buried desires.

“So you say-” Skywalker began but the General, now realizing what her brother was attempting, swiftly cut him off.

“That’s enough Luke,” she said, not even needing to raise her voice. It was enough that she just spoke that her words would be acknowledged.

Skywalker turned towards the women and folded his hands back inside his dark robe. “I will not stay on this base, nor assist you in this war, with the threat of the Order directly in our mists.” He turned back towards Finn. “I know what you have sacrificed for the Order, as well as what you provided for the Resistance. But one act of goodness does not erase a lifetime of learning how to destroy good in the first place. You must leave this place for the safety of everyone.”

“Master no!” Rey exclaimed, standing up in shock.

“That is not your decision to make Luke,” Leia said, a warning tone edging her voice.

“It’s my decision for my Padawan and I to stay here or leave. Those are my terms Leia,” he said as he turned towards his sister. “You know I’m right. We have been around this evil since before these two were thoughts in their parent’s minds.”

It was a low blow, Finn thought, for Luke to say that knowing they didn’t know who their parents were.

“We know what any remnant of the Empire is capable of if unchecked or unsecured. If you want to win this war, we cannot take this chance.” He turned to Finn. “There is a safe house in a system far from here that you will be sent to stay in until I deem it appropriate for you to leave on your own. I trust you not to divulge the location of this base, but I do not trust you to run freely around it.”

“Luke-” Leia began but Finn stood.

“I’ll go,” he said, his voice quiet and sad, so he spoke again, trying to show the strength he didn’t feel. “I’ll leave.”

“Finn, no-” Rey exclaimed just as Leia shook her head and held out a hand. “Finn that is unnecessary.”

“It is unfortunately very necessary Finn,” Luke said as he stood as well to walk away from the man to head out the door as it slid open. “You have made the right choice. Transport will be available to you to tomorrow morning.” He paused before leaving the room. “I suggest you utilize it without causing any trouble.”

Leia shook her head before she went to follow after her brother but stopped beside Finn to gently grasp his arm. “I will speak to him.” Then with a sad sigh she left.

Rey nearly threw herself across the table to get to Finn. “The General will fix this Finn.”

But Finn gave Rey an encouraging smile before he took her hands. “She doesn’t need to. This is for the best.” When she tried to disagree Finn cut her off. “Rey. Please. It’s alright. Luke Skywalker is here. Finally. The mission Poe started is finally complete. Skywalker’s the hope for the Resistance. He could be the answer to ending this war. I can’t be the reason why it won’t happen.” He gave Rey’s hands a gentle squeeze. “You and Poe nearly lost your lives to get him here. I won’t let that go to waste.” He nearly crumbled right then when he thought of Poe. How could he leave his best friend? But he had too. He pushed those thoughts away, unable to contemplate them and assure his friend at the same time.

Rey searched his face, and only saw honesty in his eyes. “This isn’t right,” she whispered looking down at their joined hands. “We just found each other again.”

“Hey,” he said, releasing one of her hands to gently lift her chin and look him in the eye. “We will always find each other. Okay? You can just-just use the Force and bam! There I am.”

She gave him a small chuckle. “The Force doesn’t work like that Finn.”

He sighed, “I’ve heard that before.”

Rey smiled, then turned serious. “Just-please just give Leia until tomorrow to change Skywalker’s mind,” she begged. “Please.”

Finn knew the Jedi master wouldn’t change his decision, but he couldn’t destroy Rey’s hope. So instead he lied to his friend for a second time during their short friendship. As he drew her in for a tight hug he whispered against her temple, “Okay. I promise.”

* * *

 He left just before midnight. A part of him wondered if Skywalker honestly expected him to use the Jedi’s transport in the morning, to see just how much First Order lived inside him. Well, Skywalker got that part right because the paranoia installed by the Order was indeed alive and well. And Finn was no fool. Skywalker’s offer for transport and a safe house was either truly a way to keep tabs on the man to keep the base safe, or to take him somewhere to dispose of him quietly. He wanted to believe that not only a Jedi but the brother of the General he admired so much wouldn’t take such actions.

His training had taught him otherwise.

So instead of taking a chance on the Jedi, he did what he apparently did best. He ran. And his journey took him along the long path following the edges of the base shrouded in the moons soft light and the towering trees of the planet.

He knew there was an old scrap yard hangar a few miles off base that had some outdated ships that, according to Poe, were mostly junk but mostly working junk. The pilots often scavenged the parts of these ships to make repairs or mods on their new ones, a money and time saver for them. Finn knew none of the vessels were in near enough working condition to get him where he needed to go, but would be enough to get him to a nearby planet where he could either buy or bargain for better transport.

Before he left he casually cornered C-3PO where the droid, not knowing in any way that it was being scammed for information, divulged the coordinates for where Maz Kantana was rebuilding her fortress. She was the only one in the galaxy off the base that Finn knew he could trust. She once pointed him on a safe path to the outer rims before; he had no doubt she would do it again.  

It took him the better part of two hours before he was finally inside the hanger of broken ships. His back ached with that much effort but he couldn’t afford to take a painkiller. He needed to be alert and focused to get this done. After a bit of searching he found what he was looking for.

The A-Wing was ancient and battle-scarred, but Finn could tell just by looking at it that it was still in good shape. Once inside the cockpit, more effort of climbing and moving that made his back moan in protest, he slowly went through the preflight checkup to make sure the plane had all its components and was fueled up to go. Necessary actions that normally took a skilled pilot fifteen minutes took Finn another hour.

Thinking of pilots made him think of Poe and Finn had to stop his movements and place his hands on his face, taking deep, even breaths before panic could consume him. He didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to leave this place where he was finally learning how to live a good life. How to be happy outside the Order, not that he’d been very happy there to begin with. And so much of it had to do with the man who was expecting him to be there when he returned.

But he couldn’t stay. He remembered how Poe, bloodied and beaten, was willing to die to keep that map safe. How the memory of his mental Force battle with Kylo Ren, and subsequent loss, haunted Poe. That he had put his beloved droid, his pilots, his everything in danger to destroy Starkiller. And Skywalker being on their base was what made all those sacrifices Poe gave, and nearly gave, worth it. If Skywalker was the answer to winning this war, then Finn, a duty-bound soldier since birth, had no choice but to do what was right for the Rebellion. For the cause.

For the people he cared about.

So before dawn had begun its trek across the sky, Finn ever so slowly put up the ship’s deflector shields, initiated stealth mode, and then flew away from D’Qar towards the never-ending sea of stars with no intention of looking back. He, and everyone there or not there, couldn’t afford him to.

* * *

Five days. Not exactly three but not a full week either. Poe was excited to surprise Finn on his early return, and as his plane touched the permacrete of the hanger in the early morning light, he had never felt so relieved to be back home.

“Well let’s hope that we got something good out of that run because to me it felt like a bust,” Iolo said through the com in Poe’s ear. He had to agree. The Order stronghold they were ordered to invade, at least on the surface, seemed like nothing more than a low supply base which was a less than productive mission for the level of skill these Resistance members held. While it was helpful to take down anything belonging to the Order, Poe couldn’t help but feel that it was a waste of time and resources to go after it.

“Well, we’ll leave it up to the data geeks to figure that out. Download the cargo then we’ll debrief this afternoon. I’m wiped,” Poe said to Iolo before taking off his helmet and hoping out of the cockpit. As he climbed down his plane BB-8 beeped pleasantly at his master, pleased as well to be back on the base.

“Yeah, yeah we’ll get you charged up back at the unit,” Poe said to his little droid as he motioned over a hanger crew-member to head over to him.

“I’m so spent I can barely see straight. Mind taking over post flight checkup?” he asked the starry eyed deck officer. Her mouth fell open before she nodded rapidly. It was a well-known fact that Commander Dameron rarely let anyone work on his beloved ship but him. Hanger crew were often salivating to get their hands on the inside of Black One to check out his personal customizations of the ship. And while he would do his own post flight checkup later, it would be damaging to wait too long so he didn’t mind letting this kid do it. Just this once. And it was just because he was tired. Not because he was over eager to see Finn. Or anything like that.

“Good.” He handed her his helmet before he headed towards the exit with little BB rolling behind him. They chatted amicably about the recent mission until they made their way to the unit. When he stepped inside he was surprised to not find Finn there.

“Finn? Buddy?” he asked, checking the time on his datapad before placing it on the kitchen table and glancing around the empty unit once more. Finn wasn’t assigned to any specific duties yet and it was too early for the mess to be open for breakfast.

“I swear if Rey is dragging Finn all over the base at kriffing dawn when his back is still wrecked our first discussion together aint going to be pretty,” Poe said to BB who was rolling over to where their beds were. It started indicating that there was a something on Poe’s bed.

“My old datapad?” Poe said as he picked it up, confused. He’d lent it to Finn with the promise that he’d pick up a newer and better one the next time he was stationed on a planet that sold them. Finn had been grateful, insisting it was fine even when Poe tried to tell Finn he could use it for more fun stuff than just research and keeping notes.

He turned on the pad, shooting BB a nervous look. When it loaded, a message with his name on it was waiting for him. Confused, he turned it on to find a holo-message from Finn trying to look brave but his sadness was apparent even with the shoddy image.

“Finn,” Poe breathed. “What did you do?”

“I’m sorry Poe,” Finn blurted, then shook his head. “I have to leave. Rey will explain everything. Please tell her I’m sorry for lying, again, it’s not something that I particularly like doing. Kind of a knee jerk reaction I need to work on.” He rubbed the back of his neck the way he did when he got nervous and Poe ached with misery at not being able to comfort him. “I really don’t want to leave, but it’s for the best.”

Sincerity washed over his face as he breathlessly said, “Thank you Poe. For-for everything. I cannot even begin to describe how much your friendship means to me. How much I appreciate how you helped me. How you saved me. I-I hope-” He stopped as emotion waved over him. It took a moment for him to compose himself before he continued. “No. I pray that the Force brings us back into each other’s lives again.” He opened his mouth as if to say more, then hesitated and instead shook his head. “Good bye.”

Poe was exiting the unit before the message had even ended.

* * *

The door to the conference unit opened, surprising its inhabitants who were not expecting anyone else to arrive at the meeting already in full progress. Poe surveyed them all, his eyes desperate to find who he was looking for. He ignored the large hologram that hovered in the middle of the circular table, detailing a shimmering blue breakdown of Starkiller as it replayed the battle that took it down.

“Commander Dameron,” General Leia said as she stood. Beside her were fellow senior officers Poe knew and respected, but they didn’t matter right now.

Also there was Rey who had stood as well and was staring at him with surprise. Beside her a man wearing a brown cloak turned to regard Poe. “Commander Dameron?” He started to stand. “It’s a great pleasure to meet you-”

But Poe ignored him to stalk over to the General. “Where’s Finn?” he demanded.

“Poe-” The General began, “Poe I’m so sorry,” she whispered, and he knew by her face that she meant it, he truly did, but his heart was speeding like a meteorite and worry was twisting him up from the inside so when he asked again, “Where. Is. Finn?” He knew it was the angriest he’d ever been with the General. And he didn’t give a damn.

“Your friend did what was best for the cause you’ve dedicated your life to,” a voice said from beside him. He turned to regard the man walking towards him, Rey a shadow at his side. “I can sense your concern for the former trooper. Which is understandable given your history. But I assure you, just as I did for Finn, that his departure is best course of action for the safety of the Resistance.”

In his haste to find out what happened to Finn, Poe nearly forgot who this man must be.

Luke Skywalker.

The soldier he heard impossible tales about on his father’s knee. The pilot his mother spoke so highly of by her side while being taught how to handle a plane for the first time. The legend, the hero, the mysterious vagabond with knowledge of the ever elusive Force a whisper on a Rebel’s lips, old and new, about how he could be the savior to them all.

And he was the reason why Finn left.

Without saying a word, Poe neatly punched him across the jaw before he stalked calmly out of the room.

“Poe!”

He didn’t stop walking. He didn’t know why Finn had left, all that mattered was he was gone, and Poe needed to get him back.

His mind raced as he put together a haphazard plan to find his missing friend. He would need Jess. Snap too. Kare and Iolo were just as, if not more, spent than he from the mission so they were definitely out.

“Poe wait, please!”

He sent a message on the datapad he still gripped in his hands for BB to head for Black One and to wait for him there. He would spare ten minutes for packing and a quick ‘fresher before he would head to the ship-

“I said stop!” Suddenly Rey was in front of him, holding out her staff to block his movements with an annoyed look on her face.

“Move,” he gritted out, not wanting to waste any more time when he needed to get back out into orbit. He had to find Finn. He had to find him. He wouldn’t lose him again. He just _couldn’t_ -

“I will not move until you listen to me,” she demanded, gripping her staff tighter 

But Poe couldn’t hold back. Angrily he growled at the girl. “Finn is your friend. He came back for you when no one else would have. He fought for you. And your master just kicked him off base like he was nothing more than space debris. Why?”

“He thought he was a threat because he used to be a stormtrooper. That we couldn’t trust Finn because his upbringing with the Order was too deep. He’d been with them too long. And he was putting the Resistance in danger by just being on the base,” Rey explained, keeping her staff up. “He forced an ultimatum on Leia. Him, or Finn.” She swallowed at the memory of her last conversation with her friend. “Finn said that he refused to be the reason why our missions failed. After everything we went through to bring Skywalker here, he didn’t want what happened to you and I be in vain.”

Poe didn’t blink, didn’t move for a few moments as the words sunk in. Then in one swift move he turned to the side and punched the wall, hard. Rey jumped at the movement, not expecting this from the normally jovial pilot.

“That son of a kriff,” Poe nearly screamed. “Finn saved us. He saved you. The only reason Skywalker is even here is because of him and he thinks Finn is the threat?” He whirled back at Rey, his eyes lit with anger. “Did you fight for him? Did Organa even try-?”

“Of course we did!” Rey exclaimed. “Finn promised me he would give Leia time to change his mind before taking Skywalker’s offer for transport to a safe house-”

“But he took off on his own, didn’t he?” Poe interrupted, rubbing his sore knuckles thoughtfully. It made sense, Poe thought. He knew Finn, ever the soldier, wouldn’t trust Skywalker’s offer. A prison or death would be his only destinations. That mindset was what he knew, what he grew up.

What Poe was trying to show that life wasn’t always like.

As she nodded Poe said, “I’m going after him. I’m going to find him and bring him back here.”

“I know. That’s why I’m coming with you.” She had no doubt Poe would help. She could sense the moment she first met him that he cared about Finn. 

“What about your master?” Poe asked with a scoff. “You worried about what he’ll think of that?”

“Right now he thinks I’m going after you to defend his honor.” She rolled her eyes. “And I hate calling him master. If I weren’t so desperate at the time for him to come back to D’Qar I would have never agreed to it.”

“I don’t know how you can help,” Poe said and walked past Rey to head for his unit. The door opened and he walked inside, not caring that Rey followed him.

“Bit more than you think. I’ve done some digging since Finn first left,” she said as she looked around at the unit. Poe was starting to undress but she barely noticed and he wasn’t about to leave and waste time. “I was waiting to go look for him because I knew I would need your help. He left using an old A-Wing out of some scrap hanger outside the base.”

Poe nodded, shirtless as he dumped out the contents of his knapsack on his bed before moving aside the dirty clothes and used up items to make room for cleaner, newer ones. He grabbed some bandage tape and began wrapping his bruised knuckles. “Makes sense. I’m the one who told him about that place. How to fly one of those ships.”

“And that because their stealth modes are obsolete the security sensors didn’t pick up him leaving?”

Poe turned to Rey, surprised.

“Thought not,” she sighed and Poe shook his head before he continued packing. Finn was smart. Finding him might prove harder than he initially assumed.

“Any leads on where he’s heading?” Poe asked.

“Maz was my first guess, and I was right.” She sat on Finn’s bed. When Poe shot her a confused look she continued. “Maz Kantana. He and I met her briefly before I was taken by the Order. She offered Finn help in finding work out in the Outer Rim and she’s the only person Finn knows outside this base who he can trust because,” she paused, her voice catching for a moment before she continued, “because Han trusted her.”

Poe looked up from his packing to gauge her carefully. He knew from reports and general discussions that Rey had watched the former war hero perish, but he never considered the closeness of their relationship.

She quickly brushed aside her emotions for the matter at hand. He appreciated that more than he could say as she continued, “C-3PO confirmed Finn was asking for her coordinates before he left. But when I contacted her he hadn’t arrived.” She swallowed, nervously. “If he was there it would be one thing. But that was three days ago.”

Poe swore to himself. He didn’t realize it had been that long since Finn took off. Three days? Who knew how much trouble Finn could have gotten himself into during that time.

Rey continued. “If he had that transport-”

“If he had the proper transport you mean,” Poe said, turning to the girl. “If he knew about the obsolete sensors than he most likely knew that plane wouldn’t get him where he needed to go. He would have to get more reliable transportation.”

Rey jumped up. “So he would have stopped somewhere with public galactic transport.”

Poe nodded. “And he’s not expecting anyone to come after him.” He hadn’t realized the truth to those words until he spoke them. His chest ached at the thought. “We’ll start at the nearest planet that offers those services then move on from there.” He jerked a thumb towards the door. “Now get out and meet me in the hanger in five.”

“Why can’t we leave now?” She asked, confused.

“Because if you want to be trapped in a small ship with me for hours on end while I smell like tauntaun dung because I just got back from a five day mission less than a half hour ago then by all means.” He held out his datapad to the girl. “But I know from experience that these two do not.” He pointed to the information on his datapad. “Round them up. You know them. Tell them what’s going on, meet me in the hanger and we’ll head out asap.”

She took the datapad with a nod. Before she left she said, “You should stay messy. Finn deserves to be locked up in a smelly room after running away from his family like this.”

Poe realized immediately why Finn liked Rey. And as soon as he got Finn back and could stop focusing on only worrying about him, he knew he would definitely like Rey too.

* * *

_Coruscant_

Finn had never been so sore in his entire life. Every little movement, every breath, caused a river of pain to travel up his back and then down again. He’d been harboring his pain medication, using it sparingly so he could sleep when he had the time.

It had been three days since he landed the X-Wing in the small town named CoCo Town on the planet Coruscant, where he quickly abandoned it and left an anonymous message for local Resistance members that a deserted A-Wing was spotted. He could have sold it, the credits would definitely be useful, but he couldn’t. If Resistance technology fell into the wrong hands it could be used against the order and Finn didn’t want to be part of that.

Instead he hitched a ride by bargaining cheap labor, loading a travel convoy smuggling illegal exotic furs, to end up in the city he definitely needed to be in. Galactic City.

He’d heard of this planet’s core city during his training, as it was run by First Order sympathizers, despite the Systems proclamations of its neutrality. Finn knew it might be dangerous for him to be there, but he didn’t have a choice. He was hoping to not stay more than a day, but his significant lack of credits made it clear he would need to earn more for passage.

Despite dealing with a metropolis he was unfamiliar with, his training had prepared him for traveling under the radar. He eventually made his way to their focal galactic travel hangar where cheap passage was often offered in exchange for help unloading goods and maintenance deemed too dangerous for the employees. Luckily most of his fellow travelers in his position wanted to handle their comings and goings the same as him; quiet, no questions, and just get the job done.

To save more credits he slept in shelters with other poor travelers. And by slept, it was mostly dozing because Finn was too nervous to sleep. He knew he wasn’t entirely safe there, and anyone could try and slit his throat if they thought he had anything they wanted. But the work was cheap, quick and reliable. Not to mention it was where he wouldn’t be seen by monitoring officials or law enforcement. He hadn’t any other choice.  

Finally though, after days of unloading luggage and helping out with what little engineering skills he could offer, he had been given enough credits to buy a ticket.

The large metallic transport shuttle was very different from how he traveled as a stormtrooper. It held two levels of seating and the bottom was used for storing luggage and other belongings. Once on the noisy and crowded shuttle, Finn was only able to afford standing room position. He didn’t care though. He just wanted to pop a painkiller, lean back against his spot on the wall and doze the pain away until he made it to Maz’s.

Unfortunately by the time they made it out of their first hyperjump, there was a pirate ship already attacking them.

As the other passengers erupted in cries of fear and helplessness, and the guards tried desperately to com for help back in their home planet, an act hindered by the pirates blocking out their transmissions, Finn rested his head on the back of the seat in front of him and gently thumped it rhythmically.

“I think the Force is trying to tell me something,” he mumbled miserable.

* * *

“What the hell are you doing?” Poe looked up from the control panel to Rey with a frown. The young girl was sitting in the pilot seat of the Millennium Falcon, her eyes closed as she held the ships steering wheel while they rode the stars hoping to pick up a trail on their missing friend. Poe hadn’t expected that they would be taking this plane but Rey insisted. She could pilot it well and it would blend in with other transports better than a Resistance fighter plane. If Poe wasn’t so worried about wasting time, he would have fought harder to pilot the famous vessel.

“I’m trying to use the Force to contact Finn,” she muttered, then opened her eyes, anger and frustration settling on her face. “Nothing.”

“Sorry kid,” Poe said. “But I think if we’re going to find Finn we’re going to have to do it my way.” He pressed a couple of buttons and a hologram loaded in front of them. “Been scanning the Resistances underground communications, checking for anything about Finn’s getaway plane. I’ve got a transmission here from Coruscant. Says they got an anonymous tip about an abandoned A-Wing a few days ago.”

“Finn’s?” Rey asked hopefully.

“Most likely.” He tapped another button and the hologram was replaced by different information that he quickly scanned. “Their capitol is Galactic City and they have a transport launch there. Looks like the most recent transport heading towards Maz’s left today. Took off about an hour ago and the next one isn’t for another week.” He turned to Rey. “Want to bet that’s where our wayward runaway is?” He grinned, the realization that they were possibly getting closer to Finn elating him. “Sending you the coordinates now.”

“Got em,” Rey said and started organizing the information that was given to her. She cast a nervous glance at Poe as he continued reading over the data he was processing in the hologram. “You really care about Finn. Don’t you?” she asked.

He looked over to her, confused. “Of course I do.”

“I mean-” she started, hesitating as she tried to gather what she wanted to say. “Finding Finn. This is more than you just doing what’s expected of you. Right?”

He turned towards her and folded his arms. “What are you trying to get at?”

Rey sighed. “Both of us owe Finn our lives. No question. But, what you’ve done for him. Taking him in. Being his friend. Going after him now. This-is all that just because of orders? Or because you want to?”

Poe was stunned. “What do you mean orders?”

Rey looked away to tap a few buttons. “Finn knows.”

“Knows what?” he said, gently taking her arm. “Help me out here kid because I’m a little lost.”

She sighed and turned in her seat to face Poe. “Finn knows that you’ve been ordered to keep an eye on him.” Poe’s surprise was evident on his face. “I’m sure he knows that you care about him. And that you’re grateful that he saved your life. Twice.” She emphasized before she continued. “I-I guess I just want to know, orders aside, where you stand with him. He’s-” She paused. “He’s very important to me Poe and I don’t want to see him get hurt.”

Poe was silent, this news rendering him mute for a few moments. “He thinks the only reason I want him around is because I’ve been ordered to keep him around?”

“Have you?” Rey asked.

He groaned and ran his hands through his hair. “I fought to keep him on base after his recovery. It was pretty divided. Everyone was grateful to be alive,” he said sardonically, remembering how many of those officers were throwing the word grateful around, but…always that but. “The idea of a stormtrooper being on the base made a lot of people uneasy.”

“I do care about him though. A lot.” He then emphasized. “He’s my friend. He-” Poe paused as emotion welled up in him. “He’s very important to me too. This,” he gestured to the ship, himself and the stars, “bringing him home has nothing to do with orders.”

Rey nodded and looked away. “I’m glad to hear that.” She was silent for a few moments before she said, “Master Skywalker has told me that Jedi’s aren’t allowed to have strong attachments to others.” She looked back at Poe. “But he’s most certainly made a few exceptions. So why can’t I?”

Poe clasped her on her back. “Sounds good to me. So let’s go get our boy.”

* * *

“Quit slouching yer making me nervous.”

The butt of a blaster was suddenly under Finn’s chin, forcing him to look up at the scarred face of one of the space pirates holding them hostage. The slew of other passengers, mostly humanoid but with a small mix other species unique to him, were kneeling on the floor, hands above their heads and eyes forward. They’d been that way for almost half an hour now as the three, possibly four as Finn didn’t know what was going on in the cockpit since they were boarded under the threat of attack, Pirates ravaged their possessions.

His back, previously aching but now aflame with agony, was causing him to slouch down in his position to relieve some of the pressure.

This apparently did not appease the man above him, smirking a cruel smile with a matching set of missing teeth and an eye. Strands of wispy dark hair framed his face, and his skin was a matted design of scars and patchwork that matched his ragged clothes. He portrayed every bit of the kind of pirate Finn imagined they looked like.

Finn said nothing to the man, just straightened himself up and tried not to wince. He knew the man was restless and just looking for a fight. His training was the only thing keeping him from toppling over in pain, but he knew he couldn’t hold out much more. The extra effort to buy his passage on this doomed transport did a number on his injuries and mixing that with a severe lack of sleep; he was fading fast and he knew it.

Suddenly a female voice cried out, “No. I said no!”           

Both Finn and the pirate turned to see one of the other pirates grabbing a young woman by the hair as he ripped a satchel from her body before pushing her down.

“Holding out on us huh?” The pirate above Finn walked over to his fellow thief, a blue tinged amphibian looking creature who stood almost seven feet tall and had been silent the whole heist.

The creature opened the satchel and out came a datapad and some wrapped up parcels, but nothing else.

“You got anything else hidden in there?” The pirate said salaciously and bent down to grab the girl by her knees.

“Hey!” Finn shouted, struggling to stand before he even realized what he was doing. “Let her go,” he challenged. He knew, were he in better shape, he could easily take down the pirates. Faster if he had a weapon. Unfortunately, he was at a serious disadvantage with his injured back. And he didn’t want to risk the other passengers. But he couldn’t sit by and let someone get hurt right in front of him.

The amphibian creature growled and walked slowly up to Finn. “Take what you want. Just don’t hurt her,” Finn breathed out, not an ounce of fear in him. He’d been trained to defend the Order. Now he could finally use that training to help someone else. He probably wouldn’t live, but damn if he hadn’t come all this way just to die on his knees with a blaster wound in his gut without at least trying to fight back.

“You got a death wish boy?” The pirate called from where the girl struggled under his hold. “Scall here’ll bite your head clean off.” He then slapped the girl across the face, causing her to sob and lay still. “He’s got a taste for troublemakers.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Finn gritted out, his hands already twitching to put a blaster to the man’s forehead. “Been pushed around by worse than you,” Finn challenged when the amphibian was right in front of him. It wasn’t a lie, but he left out that worse than Scall had also nearly killed him.

And…okay. Trash talking the person who was most likely going to break him in two? Proof he’d been hanging around Poe way too long.

But what he started needed to be finished. In one near invisible move Scall tried to grab Finn’s neck, but he’d been expecting that. While he hadn’t had much training in combat with creatures taller than him, Finn assumed the basic anatomy worked the same for bilateral creatures. In moves he’d practiced a thousand times, he twisted the arm around, spun backwards and in one quick move broke it.

He tried to step back as Scall screamed in pain to ready himself for another defensive attack. He was at least able to dodge the good arm as it reached out to grab him, but the stunned, kneeling passengers got in the way of his footing and Finn wasn’t able to move far enough to avoid the oncoming attack. Sharp claws grabbed at throat to push him against the wall, his legs kicking the scrambling people as he was pushed back.

An agonized scream tore through his throat at the wall’s impact with his back and even harder with his head, pain shooting from both places. The scar tissue and sore muscles tensed and ground against his nerves into tendrils of pain. He desperately reached up to push the creature away, but it only growled and squeezed his neck harder, causing his head to throb even more painfully and his windpipe to quickly close.

“What’d I tell ya?” the other pirate said as he stood and walked over to Finn, placing the barrel of the blaster up to Finn’s forehead. “Troublemaker.”

Finn grabbed at the creatures hand around his neck with one hand while the other attempted to reach his assailant, and failed. He felt his chest constrict with pain as he tried to draw in ragged, desperate breaths. He remembered the message he’d left to Poe, saying that he prayed the Force would bring them together again. Now, as the two pirates mercilessly watched Finn helplessly squirm against the choke hold, he knew that wasn’t going to happen.

He guessed the Force didn’t work like that either.

A loud thump coming from the cockpit caused the two pirates to look towards the door leading in that direction. The pirate made a nervous humming noise before he called out to his third companion, a sullen human with hair so long it had braids within braids, who’d been ignoring them to play a game on his stolen datapad during the whole ordeal. “Socco. Go see what that was.”

The man sighed and shoved the datapad in his satchel before he opened the door.

And was promptly greeted with a blaster to the chest.

Scall dropped Finn even before the dead man had fallen to the ground. Now hidden behind cowering passengers and debris from their torn apart luggage, Finn tried for a moment to pull himself up, and immediately fell again. His body was too weak to support it any longer. He couldn’t even roll onto his back, and instead curled up into a ball against the onslaught of pain rushing through him, desperately trying to breathe but unable too.

His vision blurred as he heard the blasters battle between the pirates and their unknown assailants. He hopped whoever they were they would take care of the passengers. Maybe someone got through to their transport base and they would be saved. Maybe.       

After days of being unable to because of the loneliness and sadness that came with it, he finally allowed himself to think of Rey…and Poe. He didn’t want too, but his labored breathing and the pain starting to fade were clear signs that he was running low on time, and he didn’t want his last moments to be wondering just what the name of the species the creature who killed him was.

No. He would think of Rey’s smile. Her destined place among the Jedis. How lucky Luke was to have her as a Padawan.

And Poe. His infectious grin. Those kind eyes that never dimmed with anger or frustration around him. How he looked more at home in the seat of his X-Wing than anywhere else.

Even now he could hear Poe’s voice saying his name.

Tears pricked his eyes and he had to close them against the blinding light above. Poe’s voice. Yes. Hearing his name on Poe’s lips. Now that was the perfect way to go.

 _Finn_.

“I’m sorry Poe,” Finn whispered  

 _Finn_.

“So…sorry,” he whispered once more, his head throbbing and throat dry.

“Finn!”

Darkness overtook him, and he gratefully let it.

* * *

The next time Finn opened his eyes, the surroundings were eerily familiar despite his vision blurred by the pain meds he could taste in his desert dry mouth. A lumpy bed of white sheets. A hologame table nearby. And an open common area where he once saw an unfinished map leading to a missing hero while a soon to be dead man walked through a secret star system telling them that myths and legends were real.

The Millennium Falcon.

He was on his stomach and tentatively tried to move, then quickly realized that was the worst possible idea in his entire life. His body was spent and currently refusing to allow him to do anything other than let him think and breathe. And even those were a gift. In the distance he heard talking, and the soft beeping of a familiar droid answering questions.

Poe…Rey? He closed his eyes, unable to comprehend the fact that these two had come after him. Rey must have defied Skywalker’s orders to come to him. And Poe as well. The hope of the Resistance at D’Qar for less than a week and his Padawan and star pilot abandoned their sworn duties to save the life of an ex-stormtrooper, who really shouldn’t have even been allowed to stay there in the first place.

He didn’t know who was more foolish. He for thinking no one would come after him. Or them for actually coming after him. There would be consequences for their actions, he had no doubt about that. He just hopped their efforts to help him didn’t ruin their lives in the process. He had been trying to avoid that since the beginning of this whole mess. 

He wasn’t sure how long he stared down at the floor as he tried to calm his emotions until he heard a soft whirring heading towards his bed. He turned and couldn’t stop the giant grin spreading across his face as he saw the familiar droid. “BB,” he whispered fondly, though his voice came out scratchy and low.

The droid seemed surprise to see Finn awake and spun around so quick it almost ran into the left side entrance of the corridor before it let out a series of beeps and shrills so loud that if Finn were able to lift his hands he would have placed them firmly over his ears.

“Talk about sounding the alarm,” he mumbled as he heard multiple footsteps rushing towards him. Poe was first, taking long and fast strides, his face anxious and tired. Rey was right behind Poe, quick steps with a big grin that opened and shouted, “Finn you’re awake!”

“Thank the Force,” said Jess who sauntered in after Rey with Snap right behind her. “Does this mean we can go back to base now?” he asked, shoving his hand into a bag of protein snacks Jess had in her hand to munch on their contents.

Poe and Rey ignored them as they crouched around Finn. Poe immediately started touching him; checking his skin for any feverish tones, inspecting his bandages and the bedside to make sure he was comfortable. He did all this while asking him how the pain was, how he felt. Rey just hovered, crouching low and doing her own visual inspection.

“Poe,” Finn cut the man off, which caused Poe to pause and slowly start backing away, thinking that he was crowding the man. But Finn risked the pain to grab Poe’s hand with as much strength as he could give. Luckily it wasn’t much, as Finn noticed it was bandaged. Poe gave Finn a small smile and clasped his hand together in both hands, then leaned his forehead down until it touched their joined hands and let out a long, deep breath before he lifted his head back up to mumble calmly, “How you feeling?”

“Like I got run over by a landspeeder,” Finn whispered, taking in every last detail of Poe. He looked exhausted and Finn wasn’t surprised. He hadn’t a clue how long the mission he was on lasted. And he didn’t know how many days it had been since they tracked him, found him, and now. “I can’t believe you came after me,” Finn said before the turned to Rey. “Skywalker. Is-” he began but Rey interrupted him. “Isn’t a concern. Right now we’re just focusing on getting you better.”

“How long have I been out?” he asked Poe, meeting the man’s eyes. Their hands were still joined.

“Nearly three days,” Poe breathed out, his throat constricted and betrayed to Finn the emotions Poe was trying to hide. He’d been worried. For him.

“Had to get you back to Coruscant to get you fixed up,” Jess offered, who had taken a seat on the booth where the hologame was. She lifted a foot to place it on the table, then jumped when the game suddenly came on. Snap just rolled his eyes and turned the game off as Rey reached over and knocked Jess’s feet off the table. Finn looked up at Rey as she turned back to him and they shared a smile.

“The place where, as I’m sure you know,” Snap continued, “is a First Order friendly city, so that part was not fun.”

Finn wondered if any part after he’d been attacked was fun, but kept his mouth quiet.

“Luckily one of the hostages was a doctor, so she was able to help us until we got you secure enough to move you,” Rey explained. “But once we were at the hospital we had to be a bit, well, tricky.”

“We had to take the chance,” Poe explained. “There were no other hospitals closer.” He sounded almost desperate to explain himself and Finn wasn’t sure why.

“Tricky how?” Finn asked cautiously.

“I had to leave you,” Poe whispered, his words sounding wretched as he looked away, looking ashamed. Finn wished with all his might that he could pull the man into his arms and comfort him. Instead he willed himself to squeeze Poe’s hand, causing the man to look back at him as Finn offered him a sincere smile. Poe could only grimace back, but he squeezed Finn’s hand as well.

“I didn’t exactly fit in,” Rey explained, motioning to her garments, “And Poe’s a wanted man with the Order so we would have had some unwanted attention as soon as we arrived.”

“But luckily us boring old peons over here,” Jess motioned to Snap and herself with a smirk, “got you through the hospital and kept too many doctors from asking too many questions. Got you checked out and fixed up right quick before sneaking you onto this monstrosity you call a ship.”

“Hey!” Rey exclaimed, turning to Jess. “This monstrosity as you call it made it through the Kessel Run in less than fourteen parsecs!”

“Twelve,” Finn joked but Rey thought he was serious. “Yes, Finn thank you.” She turned back to Jess. “Twelve parsecs. I’d like to see one of your little landspeeder in the sky do that.”

“Have they been like this the whole time?” Finn whispered to Poe, who looked at the two squabbling women as Snap watched quietly while he chuckled and munched on the protein snacks.

Poe gave a soft laugh, one Finn swore was real, before he said, “Yeah. It’s cute though. Poking fun and getting people all riled up is kind of Jess’s style of flirting.”

Finn blinked. Flirting?

Poe sighed and reached out a hand to gently caress it against the side of Finn’s head. “I’m so sorry this happened to you.”

“It’s not your fault Poe,” Finn said back. He felt sleep tug at his eyes once more. All the talking was wearing him out fast.

“When we get back to base I’ll fix everything I promise,” Poe said but Finn shook his head.

“No. I can’t go back,” Finn whispered. “Skywalker-”

“Can go jump off a Star Destroyer,” Poe said heatedly. “It doesn’t matter-”

“Course it matters,” Finn said, his words nearly slurring with sleep. “You almost died to get that map to Organa.” He took in a slow, painful breath. “Not gonna let that go to waste because of me.” He was unable to keep his eyes open any longer, and as they closed he finished, “I know you were ordered to keep an eye on me. Didn’t want you to get into trouble. M’sorry…”   

A slew of emotions overtook Poe that rendered him silent as he watched Finn fall back into sleep. Guilt, sadness, and at this point he could no longer deny it, love. It all swirled around in his chest for a few tumultuous moments before settling heavily beside his heart. He could hear the others talking around him, but his focus was solely on the man passed out on the cot in front of him.

With a gentleness he achingly knew Finn was unfamiliar with, he placed his limp hand back on the bed, pulled the sheets up to protectively tuck the man in, then stood.

The others stopped talking when he turned to them, the dangerous look on his face clearly telling them that this wasn’t over yet.

“Snap,” Poe said, his even and controlled voice a thinly veiled cover for the anger hiding just below the surface, “would you get General Organa up on the coms please? I know she’s been trying to contact us for a while.”

Snap shot Jess and Rey a nervous look before he stood. 

“Oh and make sure Skywalker’s there,” Poe said. “We have some things to discuss.”

* * *

It didn’t take long for Poe to end up in the pilot’s seat of the Falcon, the blue hologram of his General and her brother a flickering presence in the otherwise empty section of the ship. He was leaning back casually in the chair, arms crossed and demeanor nonthreatening as he knew it was the only way to keep himself from telling off his superior the moment her face came into view.

Organa wasted no time on pleasantries before she began demanding a location and eta of their return to the base.

“General Organa,” he began, interrupting her in a voice that was outwardly agreeable but there was no hiding that more was to come, and it wouldn’t be pleasant, “with all due respect, and you know that I do respect you, the man who saved my life, who saved all of our lives when he absolutely didn’t have too, didn’t have a damn reason in the galaxy to, is asleep in the room behind me, injured and afraid. Because of you two and what you’ve allowed to happen. And, after all this time, the only reason he thinks I went after him to bring him back, and you can bet I am bringing him back that’s non-negotiable, is because I was ordered to keep an eye on him and he escaped.” He paused, letting those words sink into her and her companion before he continued. He had to take in a deep, steadying breath because the anger was just boiling beneath his trembling throat, “And that pisses me off more than I can handle.”

He knew there was no way she could miss the dark and dangerous look in his eyes. He had suffered, fought and scarified more of himself than any of her soldiers still alive. And she knew he only did it for her and their cause. Not once had he ever asked for a thing in return other than when could he prove himself again.

Now, she had a debt to pay to him for his incredible payoffs of loyalty. And the only currency he would accept was Finn.  

“Poe,” Skywalker began but Poe pointed a finger at him.

“You. You don’t talk. You’re here to listen to what’s going to happen concerning Finn and his future with the Resistance. Or do I need Rey to send you a Force message that you can just shove up your ass.”

“Commander!” Organa exclaimed.

“You think I’m an idiot Jedi? You think it’s a coincidence that I was sent off planet on some useless mission so that when you arrived you had no one to contest your efforts to kick Finn out?” He held out his hand, ticking off each finger as he continued. “Rey wouldn’t be able to fight you because you’re her master and she knows how important you are to defeating the Order. Organa would eventually agree, because she will always put the Resistance first before any one person. As she should.” He held up his empty hands. “And with Organa on your side you expected me to be a good little soldier and follow suit. That’s it. No one to stand in your way.” He placed his hands forcefully down on the control panel, the loud bang emphasizing his already evident anger. “Bet you weren’t expecting me to take off with your padawan to bring Finn back. Ruining your perfect plan. Better double check your Force connection there Jedi. Seems a little staticky to me.”

“Commander Dameron I suggest you reconsider your tone and accusations before we continue this conversation,” the General threatened.

But Luke placed a gentle hand on Organa’s shoulder and squeezed it. “Let him talk Leia,” he said before turning back to Poe. “He’s not wrong.” She turned quickly and shot him a disappointed look. But he just continued on. “I see now that I underestimated the loyalty FN-21-”

“Finn,” Poe growled as he interjected. “His name is Finn.”

“Finn,” Luke conceded. “I underestimated the loyalty you all feel for him.” 

“Buddy, if that’s all you’re underestimating then I think we need to reconsider the possibility of you being the hope for the Resistance. Because if you can easily throw aside someone like Finn, then congrats. You’ve accomplished becoming just as much an asshole as every member of the First Order who did the same to him.”

“Commander!” Organa exclaimed, aghast at Poe words. She had watched him butt heads with people above his station before, but had always maintained a certain level of respect and consideration for his words. She had no idea Luke’s actions towards Finn would affect him so much.

However, Luke seemed only amused at Poe’s ranting. “Your passion for your friend and complete disregard for Leia’s warnings kind of reminds me of someone we used to know. He had a few good ideas here and there too, remember?”

Organa held Luke’s gaze for a moment before turning back to Poe. She nodded at her pilot and said, “Alright. Alright Commander. We’re listening. But I suggest you remember who you’re dealing with right now. If you want any kind of deal involving Finn, then tread carefully on how you speak from here on out. You’re still under a bit of hot water for taking off the way you did not only with Rey but two other very important people who were definitely not cleared to leave.”

“With all due respect General, and not to sound like a five year old,” he pointed at Luke, “He started it.”

He could see Organa wrestle with holding back both an eye roll and a smile.

* * *

_Seven Months Later_

Finn was completely unaware of the time. He knew hours had to have passed, but how many and for how long were unknown. All he did know, as he lay panting and spent but also contently entwined between Poe’s body and the sheets on their bed, was that the last few hours of love making, however fantastic and meaningful, were also partially an avoidance on the subject that needed to be broached.

Skywalker was on his way back to their base. And to Poe, that could possibly mean…trouble. But Finn didn’t share his fears, not as deeply. After their return from his unexpected runaway act he’d once again been forced to stay in the med-unit for some time to recover from his old and new injuries. During his rest Skywalker had found his way to his bedside during a rare moment Poe couldn’t be there, and they did what Skywalker admitted he should have done when they first met.

They talked.

Finn could see why Rey and Organa admired the man, and Skywalker appreciated Finn’s understanding in where he was coming from when he made and executed the plans to take Finn out of D’Qar for the Resistances safety.

After a couple of long hours trying to meet each other halfway, both were left with a newfound mutual understanding of each other based on three unshakeable truths they shared: an immense fondness for Rey, a deep respect for General Organa and Poe Dameron, and a duel hatred of the First Order.

They were not friends, but they were allies and that was all they needed to be.

With considerable effort Finn maneuvered himself out of the mess of limbs and white linen to push himself up onto an elbow and look down upon his equally spent lover.

Despite Poe’s eyes being closed, he was taking in slow breaths to calm his panting. His lover had been adamant and consistent in pleasuring both himself and Finn for the duration of their lovemaking. Finn was nearly dizzy at reaching his peak so many times in a row, but had no complaints.

At Finn’s movements, Poe eyes opened into tired slits, and in between heavy pants he grinned and asked, “You up for round four?”

Finn couldn’t stop his eye roll. “Not if you want me to be able to report to med duty tomorrow.”

“A day off wouldn’t kill us,” Poe retorted as he ran a hand along Finn’s dark torso.

Finn grabbed the wandering hand and brought it to his lips to gently kiss its calloused and scarred knuckles. “What happened last time Skywalker was here isn’t going to happen again. I promise.” He brought their joined hands down to rest against his chest, just above his heart.

Poe was silent for a moment, then moved to open his mouth, but closed it again, his eyes unreadable.

“Things are different now,” Finn continued, his eyes focused on Poe’s, “And I’ve proved myself time and time again here. To everyone.” He gave Poe’s hand a gentle squeeze and smiled. “Please don’t try to murder the hope for the Resistance on my behalf. Not that I really think you actually would. Your friends need to give you more credit.”

“Like they’d find any proof that I did it,” Poe muttered, unable to stop a small smile at the thought. He sighed and titled his head back, shifting a bit at the discomfort of the overly warm sheets wrapped around his body. The memory of Luke’s last arrival to their base didn’t sit well with him, and as the rest of the memories from then surfaced, he knew the same was going through Finn’s mind as well. He could tell by Finn’s furrowed brow, and the way he bit his lip nervously every time they mentioned Luke, now and in the past. He knew the Jedi and former stomrtrooper had come to their own understanding of each other, but Poe knew the doubts and fears lingered, no matter what Finn tried to assure.

“As long as Skywalker is on his best behavior…then I guess it won’t kill me to do the same,” Poe finally conceded. He knew giving Luke a hard time during his return would only cause problems for Finn in the future. “For your sake.” Then he added, “And for Rey’s. I know that despite how loyal she is to Skywalker, it took a lot for her to forgive him for what he did. And we both agreed that if he gives you trouble again she’ll help me kick his ass.” He couldn’t hold back a smirk at the memory of that delightful conversation.

“It’s good to know the last hope for the Resistance can be taken down by my pilot lover and his resourceful scavenger turned Jedi partner,” Finn joked before running a hand through Poe’s curls. “I wouldn’t place my bets on anyone else.” His voice held no room for sarcasm.

Poe swallowed, his eyes running over Finn’s face as if he were memorizing every sacred inch of it. “Please don’t leave again,” he finally whispered. His voice was wretched and halting. Finn could hear pain in the words as he spoke.

Things were different now. Love had changed everything for them and they needed each other. Poe couldn’t loose Finn again. He didn't think he'd survive it. “I-can’t-loosing you after Starkiller, and then after he came-”

“You won’t,” Finn quickly said, eager to ease Poe’s evident fears. “Can’t get rid of me that easy.”

Poe pulled Finn in close, tucking his lover’s face into his neck to breathe in the smell of engine oil and sweat. Finn felt Poe tightened his hold on him, running a soothing hand down the scarred skin on his back. “Never. Never getting rid of you,” Poe quickly whispered, his voice betraying nothing but love.

“Never,” Finn agreed as he lay in Poe’s arms. There was nowhere else he would rather be.

And he would fight like hell this time to stay there.

* * *

Finn was more than used living his life on repeat. As a trained soldier from birth, repetition was a solid base upon which his military education grew and flourished.

So, as he stood in D’Qar’s hanger and watched the Millennium Falcon once again touch the permacretes hard surface, it didn’t faze him that he was in a familiar state; surrounded by a large crowed of eager onlookers, Organa a calm presence by his side.

The only big difference was this time, was Poe.

And a difference it was. Poe had been trying to keep himself and Finn in a positive mood, happily joking and teasing him since they arrived, his hand never leaving the small of his back. It was comforting, and sweet, but so much time and events had passed since he last lived this moment several months ago that even if Poe wasn’t there, he figured he’d most likely would have been able to handle seeing Skywalker once again without any trouble.

Maybe.

As he turned to look at Poe’s smiling face as he leaned down to whisper another sweet comment into his ear, he realized he was more than grateful for his presence now, even if he was still teasing him with sultry promises he intended to hold him to for later.

Eventually Poe brought his attention back to ship currently powering down. “You think Rey will let me pilot that thing at some point while she’s here? What’s a guy gotta do for that girl to get her to give up the wheel?”

“Pry it from her cold, dead hands I’d expect,” Finn answered, though he tried to make it sound like a joke a part of him wondered how true it was.

“Yeah. Not planning on going up against that girl anytime soon,” Poe answered with a shiver. “She’d take me down harder than a bantha going for prey.”

“I’ll…take your word for it.” 

Poe shot him a smile and a wink before he nodded back at the plane, “I think we’re about to be reunited with our bantha.”

The door to the ship opened and slowly lowered to the ground. It was less than a moment before a loud, angry roar echoed from inside, followed by the large, overly furry form of Chewbacca stalking out of the ship. He turned, yelled something back inside, then threw what looked like a spectral wrench back through the door.

“I told you Chewie I didn’t touch your arc welder!” Came Skywalker’s call back at the creature as he dodged the flying object to step out onto the plank leading to the hanger. “Ask Rey, she’s always tinkering around in the hold.” R2-D2 whirled down the plank behind him, whistling disapprovingly at their argument.

Chewie’s only answer was to growl again before heading over to Leia and engulf her in a huge, loving hug.

“Luke’s messing with your modification system again?” she asked with a laugh as she looked up at the Wookie. He moaned a throaty wail before nodding and letting out a frustrated huff.

“The nerve,” Leia laughed as she looked over at her brother who was speaking with an Admiral. Gone was the ominous cloak he once wore. He was dressed in dark brown linen pants and a matching shirt. His dark holster around his waist held his trusty saber tight against his hip.

But Finn was not focused on the Jedi. Instead his eyes were trained on the hatch to the Falcon, still open and still empty.

“Don’t worry,” Poe said comfortingly from beside him, the hand on the small of his back rubbing small circles.

Finn turned to his lover with a frown, “You think she’s okay?”

“She’s as organized as you are. Probably just putting her tools away and doing a post flight check-”

“Finn!”

Finn turned quickly to the sound of her voice. Unfortunately, she was closer than he realized as he watched her rapidly weave through the crowd towards him. Having lived through this moment as well, he quickly said to Poe, “Catch me. Catch me-”

“What-?” Poe nearly got out before he saw Rey launch herself into Finn’s arms. She would have nearly taken him out had Poe not already been so close. He laughed as he grasped onto Finn’s back, righting the man as he nearly toppled over and slid his arms around both Finn and Rey.

“Welcome back kid,” he said as she opened her arm and bring Poe into her large hug as well.

“I’m so glad to be back. I’ve missed you both so much,” Rey exclaimed as she let the men go to grace them with her dazzling smile.

“Missed you too,” Finn said, his voice overwhelmed with emotion before he pulled her in again for another hug. She could only laugh and hug him back.

Poe watched the exchange with a smile, his eyes lifting up above the two as he turned see Luke, standing between Leia and Chewie a dozen feet away, watching them as well. Their eyes locked, and for a moment Poe silently dared the Jedi to say or do something. But instead, Skywalker only nodded. Poe nodded back, and their silent exchange was understood.

He looked down at Finn and Rey before wrapping his arms around their shoulders, “So,” he began jovially. “Who’s up for some grub? Jess and the others are at mess waiting for the hero of the Resistance to return to hear about her adventures abroad.”

“Me?” Rey asked, confused.

“No. R2-D2. You, of course!” Poe rolled his eyes at the girl and squeezed her shoulder. “C’mon. First meal is on me.”

“You mean the Resistance right?” Finn asked with a laugh as he wrapped his arm around his lover.

“Close enough,” Poe answered, pulling his lover in close to press a kiss against his temple. “Close enough.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for reading! <3


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